Category: Reader Questions

January 1, 2009

Hocus Pocus

Filed under: Random Junk,Reader Questions,Society/Culture — Dennis @ 2:11 pm

I know that I said yesterday that I wouldn’t do this (New Year’s predictions are always like sticking your balls in a bear trap) but right now, I’m all hungover and my judgment is a little off, so here goes.

I’ve gotten nearly three dozen emails in the last 24 hours or so asking me just what the hell I think it is that we’re in for in the next 365 days. After all, they ask, everybody else does it, why don’t you? It’s not like I’ll end up looking any dumber than the next bozo who got it wrong.

And hey, it’s not as if I haven’t gotten a prediction wrong before now, is it?

So here I am: beer in one hand, ice pack in the other, coffee standing by. This should be interesting…

  1. The Sedition Coalitionâ„¢: Fuggeddaboudit.
    It’s deader than Elvis.  Under any leader but Steffy, it wouldn’t have even been considered in the first place. Even hardcore Grits were dropping big brown bricks in their Stanfields over the thought of what the electorate would do (and, in a lot of cases, likely still will do in the next election) to them for this one.
  2. The Conservative budget will pass.
    HM PM Harper will make just enough compromises to make voting it down political suicide.
  3. Lean times.
    The economy isn’t going to ricochet back to where it was but we’re not heading for a rerun of the dirty thirties, either. Watch as the whole notion of Keynesian economics takes a beating.
  4. Kyoto, schmoto.
    The latest eco-doom fad, aka Y2Kyoto, aka The Church of Kyotology, aka We’re All Gonna Die IV, will all but drop off the public radar. The two main reasons are: 1) As the science further unravels, the Goracle’s acolytes will have a progressively harder time selling this pig in a poke to anybody capable of dressing themselves and 2) It’s the economy, stupid. Nobody gives a rat’s ass about saving the polar bears when they’re busy enough just paying the bills. Look for Ellie May and the Greens to slide even further off the national give-a-shit screen.
  5. Iggy will be the new UberGrit.
    But it’ll be one hell of a short honeymoon. He’s said too many nice things about the big, bad Yanks over the years and that kind of thing drives Grits absolutely apeshit. Steffy was the second, Iggy will be the third.
  6. Baracklash will hit the US.
    Speaking of the Yanks, look for a bad case of buyer’s remorse backlash to set in south of the border as they realize that they elected an empty suit. The funnest part will be watching the media turn on his ass like a pack of starving hyenas.
  7. Harper hogties HLCs.
    Look for Canada’s Human Rights Abuse Industry® to find itself either hogtied or shitcanned altogether (preferably the latter). Too much stink has seen the light of day in the last year and as the Conservatives consolidate their positions, look for them to give people with a real interest in real rights, like freedom of speech, what they want. CHRC Grand Inquisitor Jennifer Lynch will be sodomized and gnawed to death (perhaps in that order) by a pack of rabid beavers while on vacation in Algonquin Provincial Park.

And that, boys and girls, is all the hocus I can pocus right now. I’m off for some more of the hair o’ the dog that bit me…

November 19, 2008

Bonehead Bonanza

Filed under: Blogosphere,John Q Public,Moonbattery,Reader Questions — Dennis @ 11:47 am

Ah, well now, wouldya just lookie here? All the class acts are just poppin’ outta the woodwork like daisies through the snow in springtime.

As most longtime readers know, I’m not big on responding to the comments on this site. Yes, I know that makes me a very, very bad blogger but the fact is that I just don’t have the time to go sifting through all the stuff that gets fired my way. Seeing as how I’m not one of those clowns wanking away at his keyboard in his parents’ basement and have bills of my own to pay, other things just plain have to take priority.

So, to all the nice folks who have stopped by now and then to say something nice, or even something constructive that I didn’t agree with: thanks. Even though I don’t say it often enough, it’s always nice to know that someone’s listening to my cathartic little rants.

To the bozos that I’ll be talking about in today’s post: bite me.

Today, I’m actually going to take a little time to check out some of the latest comments to the site (in the last few days or so) and toss back my own two bits because, well… I have nothing else to do for a change. And you can only rant about diddling shitbags and Leftbot idiocy so much before it even starts to get on your own nerves.

So, without further ado, allow me to introduce you to some of the creme de la crap that have stopped by lately to hack up one of their little hairballs on my own little cyber-rug. The fun part is deciding where to start…

Anybody who’s poked around here at all knows that a) I’m a gun owner, b) I support gun owners’ rights and c) I support the right of each and every Canadian to be fully able to defend themselves from any scumbag that tries to hurt them. Some numbskulls, however, just can’t resist the siren call of the ol’ reductio ad absurdum. Guys like “Anonymous,” (is it just me, or does that clown seem to be every damned where in cyberspace?) who posted this little nugget from his Cowtown-based IP in my July 23rd post, here, just the other day:

There is an obvious problem with allowing Canadians to carry guns…then idiots like you and your reactionary friends will be walking around with lethal weapons as a substitute for brains. You are just the type of asshole who would shoot a “coloured feller” if he looked at you funny, you know, just to be safe. Hell you might even move from beating your wife to shooting her. Hey, I’m all for carrying guns, but only if right wing, fundamentalist nut-jobs like you are barred from doing so. Sigh, I yearn for the days when “conservative” meant “wise” and I was proud to call myself one. Now conservative is merely euphemistic for “crazy, uber-religious, Leviticus obeying redneck.”

I seriously hope you’re sterile. Seeing shitbrains like you reminds me of why I support eugenics.

The argumentum ad hominem is blatantly obvious: if you can’t win the argument, attack the messenger. Move along, folks; nothing to think here. Never mind that, like Anonymous here, a certain fellow with a ridiculous mustache (who, in keeping with Godwin’s Law, shall remain nameless here) also wanted to ban gun ownership… from certain people. No, he never outright banned gun ownership (as some on my side of the argument will, maddeningly, insist), but he did pass the 1938 German Weapons Act, which served to restrict gun ownership to “persons whose trustworthiness is not in question.” In other words: NotTheJews®. Come to think of it, the high-strung little nameless Austrian was big on eugenics, too.

And before I forget: my son likes to shoot, too. I got him his first rifle when he was 12 and he still has it. This year for his birthday, he’s getting his CFSC (restricted) and his minors license, paid for by dear ol’ Dad. 😉

Next up, we have little Norm from someplace deep in the heart o’ La Mooch Provence, where there are no problems that the ROC’s money can’t solve. Norm couldn’t pick a post, it seems, so he just hacked one up on the front hall rug. Two of ’em, in fact:

I don’t know what you are doing in Canada buddy, brain-dead turds like you belong in Texas. You are exactly the type of man to end up murdered by his own children, no wonder you’re so against the youth crime act. Oh wait, no woman would procreate with you. No kids. That explains your anger at the world! Now stick your long gun up your anus and dream of harper.

Is it just me, or do these clowns have a somewhat …ahem… unhealthy obsession with my reproductive habits? 😯 My li’l ol’ Furry Pogo Stick Of Loveâ„¢, where it’s been, and what I do with it when it gets there, are none of your damned business, boys. Get over it, already.

What I’m doing in Canada, Normie, is being a Canadian. If you have a problem with that, have yourself a little referendum, get the hell out, and quit acting like the surly teenager living in mom and dad’s basement. Then he has this:

Dear reader, do you notice how right-wing cowards are so afraid to post their last name or even an email address to contact them? If anybody can post this guys last name I bet we’ll discover he’s a got a criminal rap sheet longer than his favorite rifle.

Dear Normie, did you ever notice that it only seems to be knuckleheads like you that have trouble getting ahold of me or figuring out who I am? Plenty of smart people — and plenty of dumb ones, too 🙄 — have had no trouble at all either sending me an email or figuring out exactly who I am. Must be just you.

And yeah, I did have a few run-ins with the law when I was younger; never said I didn’t. But I never sold dope, or stabbed anybody, or raped anybody, or shot anybody, or mugged anybody, or murdered anybody, or swarmed anybody, or… well, you get the idea. And, because I got charged under the JDA and not the YCJA, nobody ever had any trouble figuring out what I’d been up to.

Next up, we have Anonymous again, this time posting from a US-based IP (damn, but that bugger gets around). Apparently, he has a thing for homicidal jailbait:

She’s kinda sexy; No?

And some folks are worried about me breeding. Sheesh… 🙄

Damn. That was more fun than I thought it would be. I’m gonna have to do this more often…

October 7, 2007


Ut Incepit Fidelis Sic Permanet“Dennis,” people have been asking me a lot lately, “what the hell’s up with you, man? There’s been an election campaign going on all summer in Ontario and, aside from a couple of posts about how lousy an idea MMP is, we haven’t heard a damn thing from you. You’re not packing it in, are ya?”

No, I’m not packing it in. It’s just that getting laid off back at the beginning of summer, job-hunting and then getting settled in to the new job have taken up one hell of a lot of my time lately. Anybody out there that’s ever had to switch jobs knows exactly what I’m talking about. And as far as the provincial election goes, well, I think I can sum it up pretty well…

Faith based schools. Faith based schools. Faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools faith based schools.

It's Hampton!Just about sums it up, doesn’t it? Way back at the beginning of the race, John “Guess What Party I’m With” Tory said that if he got elected, faith-based schools in Ontario would be able to get some funding, therby bringing them into the public fold and holding them to the same academic standards as the rest of the schools in the province. He made the announcement and then moved on to other things. Dolt McGuilty, however, seized on it like a tarrier with a rat and has maniacally banged away on that same drum over and over, drowning out all other discourse in the campaign. The stupidity of the whole transparent ruse, along with the baffling herd-of-sheep response of Ontariens to it, got to such an extreme that even Howard Hampton J. Pig blew a gasket at the media for having gone so gleefully along with the whole sham. And that’s probably what pissed me off the most…

An irate Howard Hampton swept through Southwestern Ontario yesterday, dragging a campaign’s worth of baggage.

That burden — his party falling in the polls, the faith-based school funding issue dominating debate — blew open in Hamilton, as the NDP leader strafed his Tory rival and the media, accusing journalists of hijacking the campaign and ignoring real issues.

[…]Hampton’s frustration boiled over into a blistering attack on Progressive Conservative Leader John Tory, whom he called a “disaster” whose mistakes have given the ruling Liberals a free ride. “Mr. Tory’s campaign has been chaos,” Hampton said, noting the faith-based school funding vow has hijacked the campaign debate.

… because, as all of you know, there’s just about nothing in the world that I hate more than being forced to agree with a socialist. And, as Lorrie Goldstein saw when he talked to Hampton, Hampton might be getting the same nauseaous feeling, even going so far as to say something sounding vaguely … conservative…

Asked what he’d say to voters poised to give Premier Dalton McGuinty a second majority government, while ignoring his record of fibs and broken promises in favour of the minor issue of stopping public funding for non-Catholic religious schools, Hampton deadpanned: “What do I say? I say, well, then people get the government they deserve (laughter) that’s what I say.”

Hampton, meeting with the Sun’s editorial board, knows, as we do, that if McGuinty wins big Oct. 10, it won’t be long before voters who abandoned the Tories and NDP to back the Liberals will be asking themselves what they’ve done.

Why, yes, I AM PISSED OFF…  how can you tell?No shit, Sherlock. For the record: I’m against public funding for faith-based schools, but not for any of the reasons that McSquinty and the Liebrals barf up. He who pays the piper calls the tune and I don’t think it’s a good idea to let a rabidly secular government ministry be in the position of holding a financial gun to the head of a school that might be teaching something that goes against whatever the trendy Leftbotâ„¢ dogma du jour might be. Keep government the hell out of it; it’s better for the schools. That’s my take.

But, to listen to McGuilty, you’d think that white kids would be going to all the good schools and black kids would be lucky to end up in a one-room schoolhouse if Tory’s plan went ahead. You don’t think he’s hammering away on the word “segregation” by accident, do you? And the media, from top to bottom, have been all too happy to help him out.

Da Librano$But it’s the smart thing for McGuilty to do, isn’t it? The sad fact is that Ontario is likely the most intolerant province in Canada (yes, even worse than Quebeckers or those nasty Albertans), especially when it comes to religion. This is because Ontario has become infested with the disease of the Leftbotâ„¢ mindset and religion is the ultimate enemy of the modern neoliberal ideology…

The neolib socialist philosophy (there really isn’t much “neo” about it) requires, above all else, that the masses give their first and foremost loyalty over to the authority of the secular state (of course, you and I know how well that has worked out in the past, but they don’t, for some reason…). Religion gives people a higher authority than the state, therfore it has to go. They won’t come out and say this out loud, but that’s still the meat of it. This is the mindset that has infected Ontario; especially urban Ontario.

John Tory should have known this. He made a rank-amateur mistake and now he’s given McGuilty four more years in Queens Park and the people of Ontario four more years of weak leadership.

This week, I’ll still be voting Conservative, but I’m afraid J.T. already sold the farm.

July 25, 2007

Imeson-Instegated Policy Primer

Filed under: Audio,Blogosphere,John Q Public,Reader Questions,Rights,Security — Dennis @ 1:11 pm

HUH???Okay, there’s been a lot of chatter all of a sudden in the comments about just what I do and don’t delete on this site. It seems that just because I’ve admitted that I had to dump a few comments, some folks have taken it into their melons that this is a place where censorship lives.

It ain’t.

If you have something that you think is worth saying, by all means post it. Just don’t expect me (or anyone else here, for that matter) to agree with it. And do expect to be taken to task if somebody else gets pissed enough about what you have on your mind. It’s that simple. Some folks seem a little worried, though. Folks like Paul…

I will be disappointed if my comment is deleted as I’ve tried to stay positive about this whole thing, but even you all have to admit something more than the freaking OPP is needed in all of this.

And Lee Rock…

I am kinda sad that those other comments were deleted. […] and if my comment is deleted….well then that is just sad…this is a free country, with freedom of speech remember??? I liked hearing what other’s had to say, even tho they were a bit angry and upset…they were voicing their opinions and that is what Canada is all about….FREEDOM!!

First off, Lee is right. Voicing opinions is a big damned part of what Canada is all about. Uunless, of course, you voice a politically incorrect one, in which case you might find yourself battered from pillar to post through our “human rights” system, like Scott Brockie was. No need to worry about that here, though; I actually believe in giving air to those who agree with me AND those who don’t. It’s part of my belief in that whole messy democracy thing. Yeah, it’s a pain in the ass sometimes, but I live with it. So no, I’m not in the habit of killing comments just because they happen to piss me off.

There are, however, two things that need to be kept in mind:

  1. This is a public site and I actually do try to keep it at least half-assed family-friendly. Yes, I have a bit of a trashmouth but even I try to draw a line. Kids come to this site too and there’s some stuff that kids just plain don’t need to hear or read. So, to that end: Ray, if you don’t learn to put a filter on the sewer under your nose, I WILL ban your sorry ass. You’ve been stopping by here for a while but you’re getting to be like a dog that just won’t take to housebreaking and I’m getting sick and tired of cleaning up your crap. Other people get hot under the collar too, but they don’t put out the kind of shit that you have.
  2. Utter BullshitThis is a public forum for ideas, NOT a recruiting post for a God damned lynch mob. Anybody else tries a stunt like that, your IP goes straight to the cops. Period. Shooting some murderous prick in self-defense is one thing but hunting the bastard down and stringing him up without a trial is NOT something that I’m going to put up with. No more warnings.

Alright, folks, now that that bit of unpleasantness has been dealt with, I thought it would be a nice thing to put in a little something to boost the spirits of the folks back in my old Huron stompin’ grounds. If it won’t play in your browser for some reason, just click here and download it. A li’l Hank Jr never hurt nobody, right?

Enjoy, and remember: country folks can survive. (more…)

July 4, 2007


Filed under: Reader Questions,Site News — Dennis @ 9:04 am


Okay, I’ve been getting quite a few grumpy emails lately from people that have been trying to post comments here, only to have them fall into the black hole of my Spammer Whammer®.  As a result, everybody and their dog seems to want to know when I’ll be getting rid of the spam filter on the site.

HUH???The short answer is that I’m not going to be getting rid of the filter any time in the foreseeable future.  Each and every day, I get about 600-800 entries in the comments that all promise me that I’ll be razor thin, with washboard abs, a $12 million Nigerian bank account, the world’s biggest trouser trout, and enough viagra to make sure everybody knows about it.

So, until HMPM Harper manages to get a majority in the House, dump all the Grit cronies in the Senate and pass a bill making it legal to shoot spammers, the filter is staying right where it is.

Sorry for the inconvenience folks, but that’s just the way it’s gotta be…

May 23, 2007

Where Have You Been?

Filed under: Good Stuff,International,Reader Questions — Dennis @ 10:02 am

Thumbs up!A tip o’ the toque to Darkside Rants for giving me this idea. A few people, from time to time, have asked me just where all I’ve been in my life. Well, to tell the truth, I do tend to get around … a bit.

So what we have here is a graphical representation of every place that I’ve been. Ever. Some I stayed in for a while, some I was just passing through (I still tell people that I’ve never been to Africa, even though I did catch a connecting flight in Cairo once).

Damn, but I’ve got a lot to cover yet… 😯

create your own visited countries map

create your own visited states map

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