I know that I said yesterday that I wouldn’t do this (New Year’s predictions are always like sticking your balls in a bear trap) but right now, I’m all hungover and my judgment is a little off, so here goes.
I’ve gotten nearly three dozen emails in the last 24 hours or so asking me just what the hell I think it is that we’re in for in the next 365 days. After all, they ask, everybody else does it, why don’t you? It’s not like I’ll end up looking any dumber than the next bozo who got it wrong.
And hey, it’s not as if I haven’t gotten a prediction wrong before now, is it?
So here I am: beer in one hand, ice pack in the other, coffee standing by. This should be interesting…
- The Sedition Coalitionâ„¢: Fuggeddaboudit.
It’s deader than Elvis.Â Under any leader but Steffy, it wouldn’t have even been considered in the first place. Even hardcore Grits were dropping big brown bricks in their Stanfields over the thought of what the electorate would do (and, in a lot of cases, likely still will do in the next election) to them for this one.
- The Conservative budget will pass.
HM PM Harper will make just enough compromises to make voting it down political suicide.
- Lean times.
The economy isn’t going to ricochet back to where it was but we’re not heading for a rerun of the dirty thirties, either. Watch as the whole notion of Keynesian economics takes a beating.
- Kyoto, schmoto.
The latest eco-doom fad, aka Y2Kyoto, aka The Church of Kyotology, aka We’re All Gonna Die IV, will all but drop off the public radar. The two main reasons are: 1) As the science further unravels, the Goracle’s acolytes will have a progressively harder time selling this pig in a poke to anybody capable of dressing themselves and 2) It’s the economy, stupid. Nobody gives a rat’s ass about saving the polar bears when they’re busy enough just paying the bills. Look for Ellie May and the Greens to slide even further off the national give-a-shit screen.
- Iggy will be the new UberGrit.
But it’ll be one hell of a short honeymoon. He’s said too many nice things about the big, bad Yanks over the years and that kind of thing drives Grits absolutely apeshit. Steffy was the second, Iggy will be the third.
- Baracklash will hit the US.
Speaking of the Yanks, look for a bad case of buyer’s remorse backlash to set in south of the border as they realize that they elected an empty suit. The funnest part will be watching the media turn on his ass like a pack of starving hyenas.
- Harper hogties HLCs.
Look for Canada’s Human Rights Abuse IndustryÂ® to find itself either hogtied or shitcanned altogether (preferably the latter). Too much stink has seen the light of day in the last year and as the Conservatives consolidate their positions, look for them to give people with a real interest in real rights, like freedom of speech, what they want. CHRC Grand Inquisitor Jennifer Lynch will be sodomized and gnawed to death (perhaps in that order) by a pack of rabid beavers while on vacation in Algonquin Provincial Park.
And that, boys and girls, is all the hocus I can pocus right now. I’m off for some more of the hair o’ the dog that bit me…